Number 1 Lesson I Learned About my Daughter's Behavior on Mother's Day

Do you find yourself being overwhelmed by your child's behavior on Mother's Day? 

Mother's Day was always a stressful day for me.  I wanted so badly for it to be nice, but my husband and I had grown distant and Jazzy's behavior was just too much for us to handle at the time.  As a matter of fact, this was the same scenario for all holidays.  We were all hoping that everything would turn out okay and I would overcompensate by cooking a ton of food and end up burned out because I ran out of time and energy.  

There was nothing that I could do to mitigate the impending anxiety that surrounded such a special day.  Or so I thought.  

I Was Ready for a Change

I wanted a different experience and I prayed on it.  I decided that whatever experience I desired would come to me and I committed to taking the action steps that I was being guided to take. 

As I worked to improve Jazzy's behavior and school performance, I learned something especially important.  Kevin and I were severely neglecting ourselves.  Father's Day was just as bad as Mother's Day.  I understood for the first time that we were doing things backwards.  We were focusing everything we had on our children and leaving nothing for ourselves. We were putting our kids first when we should have been putting our marriage first. The results were devastating.  As I grew in my understanding, it became clear to me that Kevin and I needed to create the environment in our home with our own happiness, security, and love.  

The Game Changing Conversation

As soon as I realized how backwards everything was, I decided to do something about it.  I went to my husband and proposed that we change the way we did Mother's and Father's Days.  Whoever is being celebrated that day gets taken care of by the other.  I take care of Kevin on Father's Day and he will take care of me on Mother's Day.  By doing this, we will model to our children what love, compassion and respect is.  We will show them how to value us and each other, resulting in a more stable and happier environment for our children.  

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My Turn First

Honey! Let me tell you.  That was a game changer!  It was difficult for me at first because I usually cook Sunday dinner and was so used to taking care of the kids and the house.  Yes, even on Mother's Day.  But this was something that had to get done.  I did nothing y'all.  My husband cooked me a delicious breakfast and dinner. That man does not like to cook.  He took care of the kids all day while I just ate and laid around for most of the day.  I even took a nap!  

The Bumps Along the Way

As for Jazzy, well, she was used to the former way that holidays went down so she kept trying to cause problems, pull attention away from me and onto herself and at times she aggravated her sister on purpose just to aggravate me.  But I hardly noticed it y'all.  Firstly, her attempts were like a rain drop in the ocean because our family has grown so much in the way that we deal with her behavior.  We had our behavior modification system on lock!

Secondly, it was not about her behavior, it was about the way that her father was taking care of me and he did a beautiful job.  So, her behavior shrank down to a little bite-sized piece that was easy to manage.  The happy and secure environment grew so big that it was impenetrable.  Success!

An Unanticipated Bonus

As a bonus I felt so good yesterday that I kept hugging and kissing my girls calling them "My first Mother's Day Gifts". On top of that, I started my indoor garden with Jazzy and Mya right by my side.  It was such a beautiful experience.  It was a satisfying growth activity filled with love and memories. 

Conclusion

So, all in all, this was the absolute BEST Mother's Day that I have ever had because Kevin and I focused on loving and caring for each other.  I learned to connect with my husband.  I learned how to sit my behind down and be taken care of by my King and high school sweetheart.  I learned to put our marriage first to create the best growth environment for our entire family.  

How do I feel?  Like a Queen, the way it should be.  And I cannot wait to pamper Kevin on Father's Day.  We changed the game, y'all! 

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Believe in yourself. Believe in your child and always remember that growth is unlimited. 

Gratefully yours,

Sharita